I really am supposed to be asleep but I started thinking about so many things…it has been a tough week this week.  The holidays are a nice (sarcastic) constant level of stress, add in the tragic news about those beautiful babies dying in the CT shooting and   the memories of past Christmas seasons that included our now ill family member and

Whew… that is why typing seemed so much better than sleeping.

Tomorrow we will begin our tradition here of making cut-out sugar cookies for the 24th…for all intents and purposes they ARE indeed cut-out cookies but in truth cut-out to be in the shape of WHAT? is more accurate.

I know we use Christmas tree, snowman, and candy-cane cookie cutters but for some reason we NEVER end up with one that remotely looks like the cookie cutter it came from.  Secretly, I blame some odd and rare occurance in the oven, but I have not been able to prove it…anyway, we will make these darn cookies tomorrow because it is tradition, and traditions are followed, year after year.  But even as we make these cookies, the same way as we did the years before, so much is different in our lives this year  as well as, I am sure, yours.

My thoughts tomorrow will run the usual gamet of wonderful things that have happened this year, not so wonderful, things I loved, did not like. and of course things I so wished would have occured.  I am thankful for so much…more that a years worth of blogs could say but me being me…I can’t help but evaluate and compare,How is Elizabeth last year compared to Elizabeth this year…what is new, changed or better? What should we work on, strengthen, or change.  I wish I did not do this but I do…but through this process I will gain some clarity I am sure…but it is exhausting.

So I continue now by offering my Christmas wish   and it is to simply enjoy these moment…these moments of the  holiday…these moment when whoever you love is still with you, the moment when you can reach and hug and kiss them….I know so much is in the hearts and heads of parents with a special needs child, each and everyday. But  My Christmas wish is for all,  not just those who are raising a “special” child ..to enjoy the moment you are in….to know it won’t come this way,  in this exact form, again.  I know I will be working on this also, and I hope we can all do it so that this year a new tradition can start…one we can do each year..just like those darn cut-out cookies. And you can bet I will be trying yet one more time to get just one to look the a tree!

Blessings to all for a Merry Christmas