We have a beloved therapist who has worked with Elizabeth and has become a dear friend to me, since Elizabeth was 2 years old. And if you do the math that is over 13 years. I would need to do a series of blogs if I would try to explain the level of gratitude and awe that I feel for these therapists-turned-friends, who have impacted our lives. But the title of the blog post today leads me in another direction.
This beloved therapist once told me “more is not always better”, I really cannot remember what things or activities I was currently trying/doing with Elizabeth that warranted the comment. I may have had (read sarcasm here) a time when I pushed Elizabeth to do all the things I had on our, or better said, MY “to-do’ list. Hard as that is to believe, I MAY have been doing too much. I say this with a bit of humor, but in truth I have been know to want to help Elizabeth learn things, do things, teach her things, all at once. I think if I am being truthful, I wanted somehow to make it all ok for her.
But what stopped this thinking, this mindset were those words….after hearing them, I sat there kind of stunned, thinking ” How can that be the right way?” “Shouldn’t we be trying to help her catch-up?” I was stopped in my tracks and really had to take a moment to let it sink in, as our therapist continued to explain it to me, from the perspective of her experience and how Elizabeth might be feeling, it started to make sense. And dare I say after thinking, analyzing, and finally accepting this new philosophy, it felt freeing. Just think, I could be happy with one success, one new thing, we did not have to hold onto the burden of doing it all, all the time. I try to remember those words, as at times, I still think “let’s do this, then we will work on that, then a few minutes of something else.” It is then that I hear her words in my head, I take a pause, and then re-evaluate my goals for the moment.
I, like those of you with special needs children, know that we are always trying the best for our child, but sometimes what we feel is best, may not actually be so for our child, I try to remember, ANY success, is success, and ANY achievement is an achievement.
I offer out these words and way of thinking, as today I had to remember them, I tossed out my list of things I thought I HAD to do, and replaced it with two things instead. She will love and learn from the two things we will be doing tonight. Yes, those words are truly words to live by…..have a good week